gaiverruksia

"I'm organizing a winter trip for Nature League to Hossa national park." "Hooray!" // "Dear passengers, the train is late." // "Dear passengers, the conductor is also late." // "Dear passengers, there is something wrong with the engine so we cannot go very fast." // "Dear passengers, the railway is being repaired. Hence we have to crawl." // "How are we supposed to fit all our stuff in that mini bus?" "And all these other people?" // "Wooops!" // Well, getting here was quite a farce but we got here nevertheless." "Pfft, I've got way too much stuff in my anorak pocket." "What do you have there?" // "Well... my Swiss army knife." // "Map of the national park." // "Half a bag of walnuts. And some dried cranberries." // "A spoon. And a water bottle." // "Alarm clock." // "Headlamp." // "Our hut's address and coordinates in case we'd need to call an ambulance." // "What are you gonna call that ambulance with?" "My cell phone. That is somewhere... in my backpack... I guess..." Nature hippies in the nature, part 1: "Hey... there's a vole in the outdoor toilet's hole." // "Well look at that..." // "Now there are six of them. Move aside, now." // Nature hippies in the nature, part 2: "There's a caddisfly larva in our drinking water bucket." // "Ooh." "This weather is absolutely horrible." "Yep." // "We can have our lunch break there." "There are people down there." // "Hi, we're French tourists on a day trip." "Hi..." // "You sure look soaked! Why don't you warm up by our camp fire." "Here, have some chocolate." "And cake." "And an orange." // "You're the best!" "Hello there."

DURMSTRANG, PART 1 "In December I participated a Harry Potter themed larp that took place in Durmstrang wizarding school in Poland (actually somewhere near Nokia). It was the first game of three. My character was Reginka Cieslak, a seventh year student and a hussar novice. The game leaders wanted to meet all the players before the game." // "Does my character have a patronus? Or does any of the students know how to cast the patronus charm?" "No." // "The patronus charm is not taught in Durmstrang as there's no point in that. There's nothing in Poland that a patronus would protect you against." // "It would be almost like teaching in Finland how to protect yourself from tigers. As there are no tigers here, except maybe in the zoo." // "..." // "This is probably the part where I tell you where I work." "What do we have here?" "Don't - " // "Tut tut, bad students! I am the curator's cursed mug. As a punishment for you sniffing around you must yell "Look at me! I am an undisciplined worm!" every time you go through a doorway for the next hour." // "Oh sh*t." // "Hey Blazej my bro! Come see what we just found!" "Alicja..." // "Look at me! I am an undisciplined worm!" "Look at me! I am an undisciplined worm!" "Look at me! I am an undisciplined worm!" "Look at me! I am an undisciplined worm!" "Look at me! I am an undisciplined worm!" (Mr Headmaster) "What the hell is it this time?" Harry Potter created by J.K. Rowling Many thanks to game leaders and all the players!

MONTH OF MOVING BEGINS! "According to an old nursery rhyme "Thursday's child has far to go". I'm a Thursday's child, too. And I have traveled in many ways." // "I have moved myself and used all sorts of vehicles." // "Some I haven't really liked that much..." // "Other ways of moving have been really much fun." // "But you know me. I'm a nerd. So fictional ways of moving are obviously the best." // "So in this month I'll introduce my favorite ways of getting from A to B. In alphabetical order, of course. Here goes..."

MONTH OF MOVING: A AKU ANKAN AUTO – DONALD DUCK’S CAR (Aku Ankka – Donald Duck ) ”I built this car myself by putting a 1920 Mixwell engine into a 1922 Dudge body on 1923 Paclac axles!” Aku Ankan uskollinen 313 on kätevä pikku menopeli. Se mahtuu parkkiruutuun kuin parkkiruutuun, mutta toisaalta siihen saa lastattua viisi ankkaa ja aikamoisen kasan erilaisia tarvikkeita. Don Rosan mukaan Aku on koonnut autonsa itse erilaisista osasista, minkä takia hän on siihen niin kiintynyt. Rekisterinumero 313 viittaa Akun munintapäivään, maaliskuun 13:een. Donald Duck’s faithful 313 is a handy little ride. It can fit into any parking space but five ducks and miscellaneous equipment can also fit into it. According to Don Rosa, Donald has built the car himself from various parts which is why he is so attached to it. The registration number 313 refers to the day Donald’s egg was laid, March 13th. The quote by Donald Duck in ”Recalled Wreck” by Don Rosa Donald Duck by Disney

MONTH OF MOVING: B THE BLUES MOBILE ( The Blues Brothers ) ”It's got a cop motor, a 440 cubic inch plant, it's got cop tires, cop suspensions, cop shocks. It's a model made before catalytic converters so it'll run good on regular gas. What do you say, is it the new Blues Mobile or what?” Blues Mobile on Elwood Bluesin auto, vanha poliisikaara, jolla hän käy poimimassa juuri vapautuneen veljensä Jaken vankilasta. Kyseinen kärry on Bluesin veljesten lisäksi kuin elokuvan kolmas päähenkilö, joka peittoaa Illinoisin uusnatsit, Jaken kaunaisen ex-tyttöystävän, armeijan, koko Chicagon poliisivoimat ja nashvilleläisen kantribändin ennen kunniakasta (ja huomattavan hauskaa) loppuaan veroviraston kulmalla. The Blues Mobile is Elwood Blues’s car, an old police car he uses to pick his just released brother Jake from prison. The car is like the third main character in the movie alongside the Blues brothers. It defeats the Illinois Nazis, Jake’s resentful ex-girlfriend, the army, Chicago’s police force and a country band from Nashville before its glorious (and very funny) end by the tax office. The quote by Elwood Blues in The Blues Brothers The Blues Brothers directed by John Landis

MONTH OF MOVING: C KANTAMINEN - CARRYING ”I can’t carry it for you, but I can carry you!” Jos ei jaksa kävellä, voi aina pyytää jotakuta kantamaan. Jos ei jaksa pyytää, voi aina toivoa, että toinen kantaa pyytämättäkin. Hobitteja ovat kanniskelleet niin toiset hobitit, kuninkaat kuin kävelevät puutkin, aivan pyytämättä kaikki. Toy Story 4:ssä Woody kantaa Kahvelia pitkin maantien laitaa – tosin vasta pitkän marmatuksen jälkeen. If you’re too tired to walk, you can always ask someone to carry you. If you’re too tired to ask, you can always hope that the other person does it without asking. Hobbits have been carried by other Hobbits, kings as well as walking trees, and none of them had to be asked. In Toy Story 4 Woody carries Sporky by the road – though only after lots of complaining. The quote by Sam in Return of the King The Lord of the Rings written by J.R.R. Tolkien

MONTH OF MOVING: D LENTÄVÄ DeLOREAN – FLYING DeLOREAN (Paluu tulevaisuuteen – Back to the Future ) ”The way I see it, if you're gonna build a time machine into a car, why not do it with some style?” Paluu tulevaisuuteen -leffojen aikakone, DeLorean-urheiluautoon rakennettu varsin epäluotettava vekotin on varmaankin ainoa syy siihen, että kukaan enää tunnistaa koko automerkkiä. Komeus muuttui vielä astetta mahtavammaksi, kun se alkoi lentää. DeLoreanin seuraaja oli lentävä veturi, jossa oli enemmän tilaa sisällä, mutta siitä ei tullut yhtä ikonista kulkupeliä. The time machine from the Back to the Future trilogy, a rather unreliable device build in a DeLorean sports car, is probably the only reason anyone even knows this car brand anymore. The time machine became even more awesome when it started to fly. DeLorean’s successor was a flying railway engine. It has more room indoors but it didn’t become as iconic as the DeLorean. The quote by Dr Emmet Brown in Back to the Future Back to the Future directed by Robert Zemeckis

MONTH OF MOVING: E USS ENTERPRISE (Star Trek) ”Fate. It protects fools, little children, and ships named Enterprise.” Enterprise on Federaation Tähtilaivaston lippulaiva. Saman nimisiä aluksia on ollut useita, ja kolme niistä on ollut jonkin sarjan pääosassa – tähtilaivalle sijoittuvan sarjan alus on yhtä lailla yksi sarjan päähenkilöistä kuin miehistönsäkin. Kuuluisin näistä aluksista on varmaankin alkuperäisen sarjan Enterprise (NCC-1701), joka tuppasi olemaan jostakin rikki koko ajan yli-insinööri Scottin rakastavasta huolenpidosta huolimatta. Enterprise is the flag ship of the Federation Star Fleet. There has been several ships by the same name, and three of them have been in the center of a series – in a show taking place on a starship, the ship is as much a main character as its crew. The most famous of these ships is probably the Original Series Enterprise (NCC-1701) that seemed to be always somewhat broken despite its chief engineer Scott’s loving care. The quote by William Riker in Star Trek: The Next Generation episode Contagion Star Trek created by Gene Roddenberry

MONTH OF MOVING: F MILLENNIUM FALCON (Star Wars) ”The fastest hunk o’ junk in the galaxy!” Millennium Falcon on Han Solon salakuljetusalus ja kaukaisen galaksin kuuluisin ja nopein kulkupeli. Omistajansa mukaan Falcon on kulkenut Kesselin reitin ”alle kahdentoista parsekin”. Tämä on hieman erikoista, sillä parsek on matkan eikä ajan määre. Asia selitettiin myöhemmin sillä, ellä Kesselin reitillä on paljon mustia aukkoja, ja mitä lähempää niitä uskaltaa mennä – eli mitä lyhyemmän matkan kulkee – sitä parempi alus ja taitavampi kippari. Millennium Falcon is Han Solo’s smuggling ship and the most famous method of transport in the galaxy far far away. According to its owner the Falcon has done the Kessel Run ”in less than twelve parsecs”. This is somewhat curious as parsec is a measure of distance, not time. Han’s bragging was later explained by telling that there are numerous black holes on the Kessel run so the nearer to them you go – and hence the shorter the way you take – the better the ship and the skipper. The quote by Lando Calrissian in The Empire Strikes Back Star Wars created by George Lucas

MONTH OF MOVING: G SUURI LASIHISSI – THE GREAT GLASS ELEVATOR (Jali ja suklaatehdas – Charlie and the Chocolate Factory ) ”This isn’t just an ordinary up-and-down lift! This lift can go sideways and longways and slantways and any other way you can think of!” Villi Vonkan suklaatehdas on täynnä yllätyksiä – suklaaputouksia, Umppa-lumppia, purukumiaterioita… ja maailman paras hissi. Suuri lasihissi ei kulje vain ylös ja alas, vaan myös sivuille ja vinottain, aina tarpeen mukaan. Hississä on kaikkialla nappuloita, joita painelemalla voi määrätä, mihin se menee. Se myös lentää. Tosin ulos päästäkseen on tehtävä reikä tehtaan kattoon. Ja sisään päästäkseen toinen. Parasta on, että hissi on lasia, joten ulos näkee joka suuntaan. Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory is full of surprises – chocolate rivers, Uumpa Loompahs, chewing gum meals… and the best elevator in the world. The Great Glass Elevator (or Lift) doesn’t just go up and down but also sideways and diagonally when needed. The Elevator has buttons everywhere and you can press them to tell the Elevator where to go. It can also fly. To get out of the factory you just need to make a hole in the roof first. And another one to get back in. The best thing is that the Elevator is made of glass so you can see out in every direction. The quote by Willy Wonka Charlie and the Chocolate Factory by Roald Dahl

MONTH OF MOVING: H MUSTA HELMI – THE BLACK PEARL (Pirates of the Caribbean) ”You’ve seen a ship with black sails that’s crewed by the damned, and captained by a man so evil that Hell itself spat him back out?” Musta Helmi Karibianmeren nopein merirosvolaiva ja Jack Sparrown – anteeksi, kapteeni Jack Sparrown – ylpeys. Tätä paattia havittelee milloin kukakin, koska sitä kehutaan niin tavattoman nopeaksi. Kumma kyllä Helmi todella on elokuvasarjan nopeimpia aluksia, vaikka sen purjeet ovat aina aivan riekaleina. The Black Pearl is the fastest pirate ship on the Caribbean and the pride of Jack Sparrow – sorry, Captain Jack Sparrow. All sorts of people try to get the hold of this ship as it is said to be so fast. Surprisingly the Pearl is actually one of the fastest ships in the movies even though its sails are always so shredded. The quote by Mullroy in Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl Pirates of the Caribbean directed by Gore Verbinsky

MONTH OF MOVING: I ISON KILTIN JÄTIN KORVA – THE BIG FRIENDLY GIANT’S EAR (Iso Kiltti Jätti – The BFG ) ”I hope I don’t fall down your earhole.” Kovin moni ihminen ei ole päässyt matkustamaan jättiläisen kyydissä pois ihmisten maailmasta, unten maailmaan ja takaisin. Pieni tyttö nimeltä Sohvi on sen tehnyt. Paras matkustuspaikka hänelle oli hänen kiltin jättiystävänsä korvan päällä, missä oli mukavaa ja turvallista. Tosin siellä ollessaan Sohvin piti kuiskata hyvin hiljaa, jos halusi sanoa jotain IKJ:lle – tällä kun on tavattoman hyvä kuulo. Not many people have ever been carried by a giant away from the human world, to the world of dreams and then back again. A little girl named Sophie has. The bast place for her to travel was on the ear of her kind giant friend where it was comfortable and safe for her. Travelling there Sophie has to whisper very quietly if she wanted to say something to the BFG because he had such good hearing. The quote by Sophie in The BFG The BFG by Roald Dahl

MONTH OF MOVING: J JUNA – TRAIN (Harry Potter) ”Funny way to get to a wizards’ school, the train. Magic carpets all got punctures, have they?” Harry Potterin maailma on täynnä ihmeellisiä keinoja matkustaa paikasta toiseen: voi lentää luudalla (myös urheilumuoto), ilmiintyä (tahdonvoimalla ilmestyä paikasta toiseen), matkustaa Pomittaislinjalla (maailman epäilyttävin ja paras yöbussi) tai käyttää hormipulveria (takasta takkaan) tai porttiavainta (liikkua paikasta toiseen lumotun esineen avulla). Kouluun mennään kuitenkin – höyryjunalla. The world of Harry Potter is full of wondrous ways of transport: you can fly on a broomstick (also a sport), apparate (just wish yourself from A to B), take the Knight Bus (the most suspicious and awesome night bus in the world) or use Floo Powder (from fireplace to fireplace) of a Port Key (using a enchanted object to teleport to another place). And still you go to school by – steam train. The quote by Vernon Dursley in Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone Harry Potter by J.K. Rowling

MONTH OF MOVING: K KITT (Ritari Ässä – Knight Rider ) ”KITT. Shut up.” KITT (Knight Industrials Two Thousand) on maailman paras puhuva auto. Siitä löytyy sopiva hilavitkutin ja vempele jokaisesta pulasta selviämiseen. Sitä paitsi KITT hyppää hienosti rotkojen ja aitojen ja vaikka minkä yli – ainakin kerran joka jaksossa. KITT osaa ajaa itse itseään, mutta yleensä sen omistaja Michael Knight tahtoo ajaa. Auton tehtäväksi jää kommentoida kuskinsa edesottamuksia. KITTillä ei pitäisi tietenkään olla huumorintajua, sehän on kone. Mutta kyllä sillä jollain tasolla silti on. Mutta se ei itse koskaan myönnä sitä. KITT (Knight Industrials Two Thousand) is the best talking car in the world. It has just the gadget and whatchamacallit to get you out of every jam you ever get into. KITT can also jump epically over canyons, fences and whatevers – at least once in every episode. KITT can drive himself but usually his owner Michael Knight does the driving. The car’s job is to comment on the driver’s shenanigans. KITT is not supposed to have a sense of humor, it’s a machine after all. But on some level it still does. Yet it never admits it. The quote by Micheal Knight to KITT in every other episode Knight Rider created by Glen A. Larson

MONTH OF MOVING: L LONTOO - LONDON (Kävelevät koneet – Mortal Engines ) ”It was a dark, blustery afternoon in spring, and the city of London was chasing a small mining town across the dried-out bed of the old North sea.” Miksi matkustaa kaupunkien välillä, kun voi nostaa koko kaupungin telaketjuille ja lähteä rullailemaan? Saat mukaan kodin, kaverit, kirkon ja kaupat. Tokikin metsätalous hiukan kärsii, jos ajelet kokonaisen kaupungin puiden yli. Mutta väliäkö hällä. Maailmanloppu tapahtui jo. (Tässä sarjassa on muuten myös eeppisiä ilma-aluksia joilla on huikeita nimiä – Taisteluvompatti on suosikkini näistä.) Why travel from town to town when you can just put the whole city on wheels and roll out? You can take your home, friends, cathedrals and shops along. Forest industry obviously suffers a little if you just drive your town over the trees. But who cares. The world ended already anyways. (By the way, this series also has epic air ships with awesome names – The Combat Wombat is my favorite.) The quote above is the opening line of Mortal Engines Mortal Engines by Philip Reeve

MONTH OF MOVING: M ASTON MARTIN (James Bond) ”You have a license to kill, not to break the traffic laws.” Salaisella agentilla pitää olla auto. Eikä mikä tahansa auto, vaan hieno auto, jossa on kaikki siistit aseet ja ominaisuudet. Siksi suunnilleen jokaisessa James Bond -leffassa pitää olla kohtaus, jossa hullu tiedemies Q esittelee uusimman agenttiauton hienoudet. Jokainen hilavitkutin on takuuvarma Chehovin ase – jos se esitellään elokuvan alussa, sitä varmasti käytetään ennen rainan loppua. A secret agent must have a car. And not any old car but a nice car with all the cool guns and gadgets. This is why in pretty much every James Bond movie there has to be a scene where the crazy inventor Q shows us the properties of the new agent car. Every gadget is surely a Chekhov’s gun – if it is shown in the beginning of the movie, it is definitely going to be used before the end credits. The quote by Q to 007 in Goldeneye James Bond created by Ian Fleming

MONTH OF MOVING: N NAUTILUS (Sukelluslaivalla maapallon ympäri – Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea ) ”Steam seems to have killed all gratitude in the hearts of sailors.” Nautilus on kapteeni Nemon sukellusvene, jolla kapteeni kumppaneineen matkusti maapallon ympäri. Matkalla nähtiin kiehtovia mereneläviä ja kuljettiin Etelämantereen jäätiköiden ali – tosin happi oli vähällä loppua sillä reissulla. Nautilus on kirjoitusaikansa tyylin mukaisesti sisustettu yleellisesti, jotta matkustajilla olisi kaikki mukavuudet käytössään merenpinnan allakin. Siinäpä todella kulkuneuvo, jonka kyytiin tämä biologi mielellään hyppäisi! Nautilus is Captain Nemo’s submarine that took the Captain and his friends on a trip around the world. Along the way they saw fascinating sea creatures and traveled under the ice of South Pole – though they nearly ran out of oxygen there. According to the time period when the adventure was written, Nautilus is luxuriously decorated so that its passengers have all the necessities to enjoy even under the sea. Now here’s a method of transport this biologist sure would like to try! The quote from Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea by Jules Verne

MONTH OF MOVING: O OPTIMUS PRIME (Transformes) ”Autobots, transform and roll out!” Optimus Prime ei tarkkaan ottaen ole kulkuneuvo vaan Autobottien urhoollinen johtaja. Mutta hän muuttuu tarvittaessa rekaksi, joten lasketaan. Optimus Prime onkin paras rekka, koska hän ohjaa itse itseään, hänessä on liekkikuviot ja tarpeen tullen hän muuttuu pahiksia pataan mäiskiväksi isoksi metallirobotiksi. Optimus Prime is actually not a method of transport but the brave leader of the Autobots. But he can turn into a truck if needed so it counts. Optimus Prime is the best truck there is because he drives himself, has flame patterns and, when need be, turns back to a big metal robot that will totally kick bad guys’ butt. The quote by Optimus Prime in, like, everything Transformers by Hasbro

MONTH OF MOVING: P PUTOAMINEN - FALLING (Toy Story) ”This isn't flying. This is falling with style!” Maailmassa on muutamia luonnonlakeja, joita on vaikea väistellä. Yksi niistä on painovoima, joka estää meitä tavallisia pulliaisia lentämästä. Mutta jos olet fiksu, voit aina kääntää tappion voitoksi ja lentämisen sijaan pudota. Musta vain tehdä se tyylillä. Ja ennen kaikkea varmistaa turvallinen laskeutuminen – se ei ole se putoaminen, joka sattuu, vaan se äkkipysähdys… There are some laws of nature that are difficult to avoid. One of them is gravity that prevents us mundanes from flying. But if you’re smart enough you can use this to your advantage and, instead of flying, fall. Just remember to do it with style. And especially make sure that you have a safe place to land – it’s not the falling that hurts but the sudden stop… The quote by Buzz Lightyear in Toy Story Toy Story by Pixar

MONTH OF MOVING: Q Q-RAKETTI – MOON ROCKET (Tintin seikkailut – The Adventures of Tintin ) ”You think this… this crackpot contraption will take you to the Moon?” Kuu, Maapallon ainainen kumppani, on kiinnostanut matkakohteena fiktiossa jo Jules Verneä. Sen jälkeen, kun kuuhun päästiin oikeasti vuonna 1969 sen vetovoimaisuus vähän väheni. Ehkä kuuluisimman fiktiivisen kuuraketin loi Hergé, joka kuulemma teki siitä jopa pienoismallin saadakseen sen piirrettyä varmasti oikein joka ainoaan kuvaan. Moon, Earth’s ancient companion, has interested people as a travel destination in fictional works since the times of Jules Verne. After man actually made in on the moon in 1969 it became less attractive. Maybe the most famous fictional moon rocket was created by Hergé who reputedly even made a model of it to get it right into every panel. The quote by Captain Haddock in Destination Moon Adventures of Tintin by Hergé

MONTH OF MOVING: R RATSASTAMINEN – RIDING ”A horse! A horse! My kingdom for a horse!” Ratsastaa voi melkein millä tahansa otuksella, joka on hieman isompi kuin sinä itse ja joka vain jaksaa kantaa ratsastajansa. Useimmista ratsuista saa (varsinkin fantasiassa) hyviä eläinkumppaneita, taistelutovereita ja tarinan hahmoja. Niistä pitää sitten myös muistaa pitää hyvää huolta. Ja katsoa, etteivät ne pure ketään… You can ride almost any creature that is a little bit larger than yourself and strong enough to carry the rider. Most mounts (especially in fantasy) make good animal companions, friends in battle and characters in the story. But you need to take good care of your mount, too. And make sure they don’t get to bite anyone… The quote from William Shakesspeare’s Richard III Tex Willer by Gianluigi Bonelli and Galep ElfQuest by Wendy and Richard Pini Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind by Hayao Miyazaki The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien

MONTH OF MOVING: S TÄHTIPORTTI - STARGATE (Tähtiportti – Stargate ) ”It’s not ’Door to heaven’, it’s… ’Stargate’.” Tähtiportti on luo madonreiän kahden Tähtiportin väliin, mikä mahdollistaa helpon matkustamisen yhdeltä planeetalta toiselle, kunhan siellä vain on Tähtiportti. Tähtiportit tuntuvat vain olevan yhtä alttiita kaikenlaisille toimintahäiriöille kuin muutkin tieteiskirjallisuuden kulkuneuvot, joten on aina mahdollista päätyä väärälle planeetalle tai väärään universumiin tai saada sattumalta vastaansa kopio itsestään. Stargate creates a wormhole between two Stargates which makes it very simple to travel from one Stargate-having planet to another one. However, Stargates seem to be as prone to all sorts of malfunctions as any other way of transportation in science fiction. Therefore it’s always possible to end up on a wrong planet or in another timeline or randomly meeting a copy of yourself. The quote by Dr Daniel Jackson in the Stargate movie Stargate by Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer

MONTH OF MOVING: T TARDIS (Doctor Who) ”Totally and radically driving in space.” Tohtorin TARDIS on Ajan herrojen ajassa ja tilassa matkustava kone, joka on suurempi sisältä kuin ulkoa. Sen pitäisi muuttaa ulkonäköään sopimaan kuhunkin aikaan ja paikkaan, johon se matkustaa, mutta toimintahäiriön takia TARDIS näyttää aina 1960-luvun Maan poliisipuhelinkopilta. Jostain syystä se ei herätä useinkaan huomiota muissa ajoissa. TARDIKSEN ääntely on myös legendaarinen. The Doctor’s TARDIS (Time And Relative Dimension In Space) is a bigger-on-the-inside time/space machine built by the Time Lords. It should change its appearance to fit the time and place it goes to but due to a malfunction, it always looks like a 1960's Earth police phone box. For some reason this doesn’t draw anyone’s attention very often. The sounds the TARDIS makes are also legendary. The quote by the Twelth Doctor in the episode The Zygon Inversion Doctor Who by BBC

MONTH OF MOVING: U UIMINEN – SWIMMING ”Just keep swimming, just keep swimming...” Uiminen. Paras tapa liikkua, jos joudut veden varaan etkä satu omaamaan jonkinlasta venettä, laivaa, paattia, sukellusvenettä tai muuta vastaavaa. Uiminen ei onnistu, jos olet kirahvi (kuulemma maailman ainoa uimataidoton nisäkäs) tai Star Trekin Data (koska hänen ”kelluvuutensa ei ole riittävä”). Toisaalta hätätilanteessa, kuten menettäessäsi kävelykykysi, voit myös koittaa uida maalla, kuten Aku Ankka Din Rosan sarjakuvassa Unohda koko juttu! Swimming. The best way to move if you end up in water and don’t happen to have a boat, ship or submarine at hand. You cannot swim, though, if you are a giraffe (apparently the only mammal that can’t swim) or Data from Star Trek (he doesn’t float). In an emergency, say, if you’ve lost your ability to walk, you can try swimming on dry land like Donald Duck did in Don Rosa’s comic Just Forget It! The quote by Dory in Finding Nemo Finding Nemo by Pixar

MONTH OF MOVING: V VALONNOPEUS – SPEED OF LIGHT ”Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws.” Valonnopeus on maailman suurin nopeus, suunnilleen 300 000 km/s. Se on siis loppujen lopuksi aika rajallinen nopeus tähtien välillä matkustettaessa. Tieteiskirjallisuudessa on siksi päädytty kiertämään valonnopeuden asettamia rajoitteita kaikenlaisilla poimunopeuksilla, hypervauhdeilla ja muilla kommervenkeillä. Jostain syystä toisella puolella aurinkokuntaa tapahtuvat asiat havaitaan silti lähes aina saman tien, vaikka valolla (täten havainnolla) pitäisi kestää useita tunteja päästä tapahtumapaikasta havannoitsijan luo. Annan sen useinmiten anteeksi juonen takia. Speed of light is the fastest thing in the universe, approximately 300,000 km/s. When travelling from one star to another it is still rather limited speed. In science fiction there are many ways to go around this though, all sorts of warp speeds, hyper velocities and other trickeries. However, for some reason all the things happening on the other side of the solar system are almost always immediately detected even though light (hence the ability to observe) should take hours to get from what has happened to the observer. I mostly forgive this because of plot. The quote from Mostly Harmless by Richard Adams

MONTH OF MOVING: W KÄVELEMINEN – WALKING ”One does not simply walk into Mordor.” Onko sinulla jokin lukumäärä toimivia jalkoja? Hyvä, voit luultavasti kävellä. Se on usein maalla kaikkein yksinkertaisin tapa päästä paikasta toiseen, koska kävelemiseen ei tarvita erityisiä välineitä. Käveleminen ei välttämättä ole kovin nopea tapa päästä paikasta toiseen, mutta se on aika varma konsti edetä. Jos kävelet sinnikkäästi, voit päästä kauaskin. Vaikka Mordoriin asti. Do you have some number of working legs? Good, you can probably walk. On land, walking is often the simplest way of getting from A to B as it doesn’t require any special equipment. It may not be a very fast way of getting from one place to another but it is a pretty sure way of going forwards. If you just keep walking you may end up far away. Even into Mordor. The quote by Boromir in The Fellowship of the Ring The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien

MONTH OF MOVING: X XAVIERIN PYÖRÄTUOLI – XAVIER’S WHEEL CHAIR (Ryhmä-X – The X-men ) ”What do they call you? Wheels?” Jotkut meistä – niin mutantit kuin taviksetkin – tarvitsevat apua liikkumisessaan. Jos sattuu olemaan nero ja omaamaan hirveästi rahaa, kuten Charles Xavies, voi teetättää itselleen superpäheän pyörätuolin, jolla voi rullailla minne tahtoo. Professori X:n pyörätuoli kulkee joskus renkailla ja joskus leijuen, mutta en tiedä, lentääkö se. Jos ei vielä, niin tarvittaessa sen saa varmasti kyllä lentämäänkin. Onhan Xavier nero, ja lisäksi hänellä on hirveästi rahaa. Some of us – mutants and mundanes alike – need help to get around. If you happen to be a genius and have loads of money (like Charles Xavier) you can have a super cool wheel chair made just for you so that you can roll where ever you like. Professor X’s wheel chair sometimes moves on wheels and sometimes it floats but I don’t know if it flies. If it doesn’t, I’m sure it can be modified to do that too. After all, Xavier is a genius and has loads of money. The quote by Wolverine in the movie X-men X-men created by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby

MONTH OF MOVING: Y DALTONIN YÖLENNOT – DALTON AIRWAYS (Ihmemies MacGyver - MacGyver ) ”I have this recurring nightmare. I'm on a game show and the $100,000 question is, "What's the opposite of Swissair?" And before I can think, I answer, Dalton Airways.” Ihmemies MacGyverin parhaan ystävän/ärsytävimmän tuttavuuden Jack Daltonin lentoyhtiö on… epäluotettava… ja vaarallinen. Kaikin puolin. Se myös vie sarjan sankarin ja hänen parhaan ystävänsä/ärsyttävimmän tuttavuutensa pulasta ja pinteestä toiseen ja ojasta allikkoon. Toisaalta MacGyverin kannalta on hyvin kätevää, että hänen paras ystävänsä/ärsyttävin tuttavansa on lentäjä, sillä epäluotettavakin lentokone on joskus hyvä tie turvaan. MacGyver’s best friend/most annoying acquaintance Jack Dalton’s airline is… unreliable… and dangerous. In every way. It takes the hero of the series and his best friend/most annoying acquaintance from jam to trouble and out of the frying pan – straight into fire. On the other hand, it is very useful for MacGyver that his best friend/most annoying acquaintance is a pilot as even an unreliable airplane is sometimes a good way of getting to safety. The quote by MacGyver in the episode Rock th Cradle MacGyver created by Lee David Zlotoff

MONTH OF MOVING: Z ZEPPELIINI – ZEPPELIN ”Ah, cool! I knew there had to be a reason for all these blimps!” Muutamien tosimaailmassa tapahtuneiden vakavien ilmalaivaonnettomuuksien takia zeppeliinit eivät ole juttu meidän maailmassamme. Se on valitettavaa, sillä ilmeisesti kyseessä oli miellyttävä ja hiljainen matkustusmuoto, joksin lentokoneisiin verrattuna hidas. Onneksi ilmalaivat jatkavat taivaiden valloittamista fiktiossa, varsinkin stempunkissa. Jostain syystä myös Gotham Cityn taivaalla seilaa ilmalaivoja, ainakin yhdessä elokuvassa. Due to some disastrous airship accidents in the real world zeppelins are not a thing in our world anymore. This is unfortunate as apparently it was a rather pleasant and quiet way of travelling, though slow comparing to airplanes. Luckily airships continue conquering the skies in fiction, especially in steampunk. For some reason there are airships floating on the skies of Gotham City, too, at least in one movie. The quote by Michelangelo in the awesome movie Batman vs TMNT

MONTH OF MOVING ENDS "Jules Verne has apparently said..." // "Travel enables us to enrich our lives with new experiences, to enjoy and to be educated, to learn respect for foreign cultures, to establish friendships... and above all to contribute to international cooperation and peace throughout the world." // "I agree. And good stories can do the same." // "So no matter whether you travel to the other side of the street or to the other side of the world..." // "...or even farther away in stories..." // "...your world grows a bit bigger every time. It doesn't matter how you travel or if you only travel in your imagination." // "What are your favorite methods of transport, fictional or real? Please tell me and others by leaving a comment! And also do tell me if you have ideas for a new alphabet challenge!"

MONTH OF MOVING - BONUS! "To celebrate leap day I will present to you a couple of vehicle that were cut from the actual list..." // AT-AT (Star Wars), Transporter (Star Trek) // Skulduggery Pleasant's Bentley (Skulduggery Pleasant), Crowley's Bentley (Good Omens), The Fowl Bentley (Artemis Fowl) (What is it with everyone having a Bentley? Is it really that fine a car? (Not sponsored.)) // Batmobile, several types (Batman), Port key (Harry Potter), Hot air balloon (Highness) // Skating (TMNT), X-wing (Star Wars) // "So there."

RETURN OF THE PE TEACHER "Can you come teach in the middle school today?" "Okay." // "PE." "Okay." // "For boys." "Okay." // "Never again."

SLOFFEALE Uusi eläinyhdistelmähaaste tuli tällä kertaa Julialta. Alun perin hän pyysi Lumihevosta ja minua piirtämään Pikachu-pokémonin sekoitettuna kirahvin, laiskiaisen tai kaskelotin kanssa. Mutta koska en tue Pokémoneja näissä piirustushaasteissa, päädyimme tekemään kaskelotti-kirahvi-laiskiaisia. Lumihevosen tulkinta löytyy täältä . This animal mash-up challenge came from Julia. Originally she asked Snowhorse and me to draw the Pokémon Pikachu mixed with giraffe, sloth and sperm whale. But because I don't want to take Pokémon into these challenges we ended up drawing sperm whale-giraffe-sloths. Snowhorses creatures can be found here . Tavalliseen tapaani aloitin tutustumalla oikeisiin eläimiin. As usual, I started off by getting to know the actual animals. Sitten aloin ideoida yhdisteltyä eläintä. Julia kysyi, kuinka tällainen eläin oikein eläisi, joten kirjoitin luonnokseen pohdintojani kirahlaislotin elintavoista. Then I started to work on the mashed-up animal. Julia had asked how this kind of animal would live, so I wrote my ideas on the sloffeale's habits in the sketches (English translations below). Picture 1 (above): Sloffeale in its typical resting pose, belly up near the surface. - the animal moves so little that there's algae growing on its skin. - the resting sloffeale's belly is facing the surface and hence safe from predators - except for humans... - snout is in the lower part of the face, making it easy to breathe while resting. - horns are used to fight predators, males also fight each other with horns. - skin pattern works as a camouflage against predators attacking from water when the sloffeale is resting (which it is up to 18 hours a day). Picture 2 (below): a rare sight: a sloffeale jumping from water, apparently to get rid of too much algae. - every individual has unique skin patterns. - the snout is too high up in this picture, whoops. - large eyes allow good eye sight even in the depths. - claws are used for fighting and removing algae (sloffeales's food) from rocks. - can stay underwater up to an hour. Tällainen otus siitä siis tuli: This is what the creature ended up like: Ja no, tässä vielä Pikachu sekoitettuna kirahvin, kaskelotin ja laiskiaisen kanssa. Lumihevosen Pikachu-eläimet löytyvät täältä . And well, here's Pikachu mixed with giraffe, sperm whale and sloth. You can see Snowhorse's Pikachu-animals here . Miksi en halua käyttää Pokémoneja eläinpiirustushaasteissa: 1. En juurikaan tunne Pokémoneja. En siis tiedä, mitkä niiden piirteistä ovat ominaisia juuri kyseiselle lajille, ja mitkä taas löytyvät joltain toiseltakin Pokémonilta. Oikeista eläimistä tiedän aika hyvin, mitkä piirteet ovat kullekin lajille tai lajiryhmälle tyypillisiä ja ainutlaatuisia. 2. Yhdistelmäeläintä suunnitellessani mietin aina paitsi sen ulkonäköä, myös sitä, miten tämä eläin voisi elää ja liikkua. Eläin ei ole pelkkä ulkonäkö, vaan myös käyttäytymistä, liikkumista ja ravinnonetsintää, ja kaikki nämä piirteet ovat kullekin lajille yksilöllisiä. Koska en tunne Pokémoneja juuri lainkaan, en voi ottaa näitä seikkoja huomioon, ja siksi Pokémoneja sisältävän eläimen suunnittelu on minulle vaikeaa ja turhauttavaa. 3. Pokémonien design on tällaisessa haasteessa aika... tylsä. Monilla Pokémoneilla on mielestäni hyvin hauskoja piirteitä ja designeja, mutta ne ovat ymmärrettävästi hyvin pelkistettyjä, jotta ne on helppo tunnistaa ja muuttaa eri medioihin sopiviksi. Siksi piirteitä, joita voi ottaa mukaan yhdistelmäeläimeen on aika vähän, mikä tekee haasteesta tylsemmän. Lisäksi useimmat Pokémonit pohjautuvat jo valmiiksi johonkin oikeaan eläimeen. Why I don't want to use Pokémon in my animal drawing challenges: 1. I know Pokémon hardly at all. Therefore I don't know which of their features are unique to each species and which can be found from other Pokémon as well. When it comes to real animal, I know pretty well which features are typical or unique to each species or species group. 2. When designing a mash-up animal I don't only think about what it looks like but also how it behaves, moves and searches for food as all this is unique to each species. As I don't really know Pokémon I can't take these things into account and so designing an animal that includes some Pokémon in difficult and frustrating for me. 3. When it comes to these kind of challenges, Pokémon designs are pretty... boring. I think many Pokémon have really fun designs and features but they are understandably rather simple designs so that they are easy to recognize and adapt to different media. Therefore there are few features to take into the mashed-up animal which makes the challenge more boring. Also, several Pokémon are already based on real animals. Haluatko, että luomme Lumihevosen kanssa yhdistelmäeläimen ihan vain sinulle? Jätä ehdotuksesi kolmesta yhdistettävästä (oikeasta) eläimestä kommentteihin! Would you like Snowhorse and I to create a mashed-up animal just for you? Leave your suggestion of three (real) animals to combine in to comments by clicking the speech bubble!

RACHOPPECKER Tämänkertainen eläinyhdistelmähaaste tuli Kyyemolta, joka ehdotti, että minun ja Lumihevosen pitäisi yhdistää käpytikka, hepokatti ja supikoira. Lumihevosen tulkinta löytyy täältä . This animal mash-up challenge came from Mother Viper who suggested that Snowhorse and I should combine a greater spotted woodpecker, a katydid and a raccoon dog. Snowhorses interpretation can be found here . Tapani mukaan aloitin piirtämällä muutaman kuvan kustakin "alkuperäiseläimestä". Koska alun alkaenkin halusin käpytikan musta-valko-punaisen väriskaalan mukaan lopulliseen eläimeen, tutkin linnun väritystä ja kuviointia jo tässä vaiheessa. As usual, I started by drawing some pictures of each "original animal". From the very start I wanted to take in the woodpecker's black-white-red coloration so I studied the birds colors and patterns already in this stage. Sitten olikin aika yhdistellä eläinten piirteitä ja hieman miettiä, miten tällainen otus eläisi. Kun mukana oli nisäkäs, lintu ja hyönteinen, mahdollisuudet olivat loputtomat ja villit. Then it was the time to combine the features of the animals and think about how it would live. With a mammal, a bird and an insect to combine, the options were countless and wild. Ja tässä vielä kuva lopullisesta olennosta: And here's a finished picture of the final creature: Mitä seuraavaksi? Jätä ehdotuksesi kolmesta yhdistettävästä eläimestä kommentteihin! What next? Leave your suggestion for three animals to combine in the comments!

WEIRD BIRDS Herra Brony pyysi minua ja Lumihevosta yhdistelemään muutamia lintuja. Lumihevosen linnut näet täällä . Mr Brony asked me and Snowhorse to combine some birds. Snowhorse's birds are here . Herra Brony siis pyysi meitä piirtämään lehmähaikaran, kalahuuhkajan ja mehiläishaukan - mutta yhdistelminä niistä eläimistä, jotka löytyvät niiden nimistä! Tällaisia niistä tuli: Mr Brony asked us to draw a cattle egret (in Finnish, "cow heron"), a brown fish owl (in Finnish, "fish great-horned-owl") and a honey buzzard (in Finnish, "bee hawk") - but as combinations of the animals in their names! Here's how they turned out: Piirsimme myös yhdistelmät kaikista kolmesta oikeasta linnusta. Omani sai haikaran ruumiinrakenteen, kalahuhkajan korvatupsut ja valkean kurkun, nuoren mehiläishaukan värityksen ja petolinnun kynnet ja koukkunokan. We also drew a combination of all three real birds. Mine got the body of an egret, the ear tufts and white throat of a fish owl, the coloration of a young honey buzzard, and the talons and hooked beak of a bird of prey. Onko sinulla ajatuksia yhdisteltäviksi eläimiksi tai ideoita uusiin piirustushaasteisiin? Jätä kommentti! If you have suggestions of animals to combine or ideas for new drawing challenges, please leave a comment!

RETURN TO TEXTILE WORK CLASS "Can you come and teach in the elementary school tomorrow? They have textile work on the last lesson." "Okay." // "Now, I'm pretty good at knitting, and I learned elementary school stuff pretty well... but it has turned out that this one subject needs a little more learning..." // "You could help pupils with crochet." "Uhm..." // "...and now through there..." // "Why don't you show her how to make blanket stitches." "..." // "Yes, Kati is learning too... together with you..." // "Help the student with the sewing machine." "Right!" // "HELP!"

FIRST CLASS TEACHING "Morning, can you come teach first graders?" "Yawn! Yeah..." // "I wonder what it's like to teach first graders?" // Religion: like playing. "What word do these syllables make?" (SUS - JE) // Sports: actually playing. "Ship!" // English: sports and playing. "head, shoulders, knees and toes..." // Honest feedback: "I don't want to come to school tomorrow if you're here." "Well I don't think it's up to either of us to decide." // More honest feedback: "Have a nice weekend!" // "You're a nice substitute teacher!"

I AM MADE OF MONEY Aloin joskus teininä keräillä 5 sentin kolikoita purkkiin. Keräsin niitä sitten varmaan 15 vuotta. Lopulta kasassa oli noin 49 euron (tai 3,8 kilogramman) edestä viisisenttisiä. Aion viettää joku päivä, kun ihmisten ilmoille meneminen on taas turvallista, hauskan tovin viemällä kolikot pankin käteistalletusautomaattiin ja katsomalla kun se pähkäilee näitä kolikoita. Maailmantilanteen rauhoittumista odotellessa voin tehdä kolikoista taidetta. When I was a teenager I started collecting 5-cent-coins in a jar. I collected them for probably 15 years. In the end, I had 5-cent-coins worth of about 49 euros (or 3,8 kg). Some day, when it is safe to go to public places again, I intend to spend a fun while taking these coins to a cash deposit machine and watch it trying to sort these coins out. But while we all wait for the situation to settle down I can make art of my savings. PS. Tässä kuvassa eivät ole kaikki säästämäni 5-senttiset. PS. Not all the 5-cent-coins I've saved are in this picture.

MOVING IN THE TIME OF CORONA I helped Mr Brony and his girlfriend moving houses. // "I go park the van. Could you two start taking stuff upstairs already?" "Okay." // "I doubt anyone will steal these book boxes or the chair..." // "...but I think I'll take Brony's camera and telescope along in the first set." // "Good idea, let's take all the valuables upstairs right away." // "I'll take the toilet paper." "Hahahahahaha!!!"

FROM THE MOUTHS OF FIRST-GRADERS... Ei se lapsi väärässä ollut... (Tapahtui ennen kuin koulut suljettiin koronan takia.) The kid wasn't wrong... (Happened before schools were closed due to corona.) I was teaching first-graders again. "Right, get dressed please and go out for the break. Chop-chop now." // "Are you a girl or a boy?" "I'm a girl." // "I knew you're a girl because you have a girl's name." "Well deduced." // "But there are names that both girls and boys can have." // "I also knew you're a girl?" "Oh?" // "I knew it because... you're wide over here." "Thanks kid." Meillä oli siinä lasten kanssa hyvä keskustelu aiheesta tytöilläkin voi olla lyhyet hiukset sekä itsetuntemus, mutta sain lapset myös ajoissa pihalle välitunnille. We had a good conversation with the kids about girls also being able to have short hair and self-knowledge, and I also managed to get the kids outdoors for their break in time.

LEAFY BLOOD HORSE Lumihevonen piirsi minulle lehvämerihevosen kalenterin kansikuvaksi. Kun kerroin tästä herra Bronylle, hän kuuli minun sanovan "lehväverihevonen". Sitten aloimme pohtia, millainen eläin se olisi. Snowhorse drew me a leafy sea dragon for my calendar cover picture. When I told Mr Brony about this, he heard me say "leafy blood horse" (it's just one letter difference in Finnish). Then we started to wonder what kind of an animal it would be. Lehväverihevonen on hevoselta näyttävä petoeläin, joka väijyy matkalaisia teiden varsilla naamioituneena syksyiseksi lehtikasaksi. Harva näkee sen useammin kuin kerran, minkä takia siitä liikkuu hurjia huhuja. Lienee jotain sukua kelpille. (Alla myös punasävyiseksi väritetty lehvämerihevonen.) Leafy blood horse is a horse-looking predator that lurks travelers by roads camouflaged as a pile of fallen leaved. Few see it more than once which is why there are wild rumors about it. Probably related to kelpies. (Below it a leafy sea dragon colored in red hues.)

NEW ENVELOPES

DARTH TEACHER My grandfather's memorial service was held on the ship Swan of Finland in Turku. The best thing was to run around the ship with my cousins and one of their's 6-year-old son. // "There's some sort of a classroom here!" "Yes, this is an old school ship." // "Let's play school! You can be pupils... and Darth Vader and I will be teachers." // "You must kill my son." "Yes, professor Vader."

MICE HERE, MICE THERE "Oh, there's no mouse in the zoo guides' computer." // "Hi, can I get a mouse for the guides, please?" "Sure, no problem." // The next day... "What the...?" // "Yeah, I didn't need a live mouse..." "Okay." // The next day... "C'mon now seriously." // "I meant I need a computer mouse." "You should have said so." // "You gotta be careful with what you say in the zoo... Well, at least you got a snack, dear wolverine." Note: only panel one actually happened.

(Sorry, this doesn't translate. It's a reindeer pun.)

(Again, a non-translatable comic. Sorry.) Löysin tällaisen merkin yhden varastotalon seinästä, ja se johti pohdintoihin.

BRINGERS OF LIGHT Christmas holiday in the zoo: "It is very dark in there. You guides should wear these fairy lights so that people can see you better." // "My child asked if it's Jesus coming from there!" "Well, no, just a zoo guide!" // "Some kids called us light fairies." "I think my title outranks even that!"

"Hmph, everything's cancelled due to corona..." // "Julia is organizing a LARP suitable for corona times - it is played via video calls! There are people in a destroyed star ship's evacuation pods." "Cool!" // "We can play here in boiler room." "It works well for our mechanic characters." // FSS ALNAIR: engineering section Ren Bunaar: a mechanic whose face is always grease-stained Terren Adena: a coder whose face is only sometimes grease-stained Assi: the ship's (Snowhorse's) old dog "Captain, is your shuttle's model A113 or A118?" // The engine activation code is ctrlx_engines-on//override419zw... // "Yes, we can build a subspace beacon but we'll need to use this shuttle's subspace transponder for it so we won't have subspace communications anymore..." // "If the scanner overheats you HAVE TO cool it down! PEE on it if you must!" "LOL!" // "Well, the pod can be turned using code as well... write ctrlx-caps_mov..." "Ok." // "Start scanning!" "Don's scan!" "Scan!" "Do as you're told!" "Belay that order!" "Maybe we just wait until the bosses are done fighting..." // "Subspace beacon is ready!" "Next you'll need to open the magnetic screws..." // "We were pretty good mechanics!" "Two hours of improvised technobabble! I didn't understand a word I said but it was awesome!"

FALLEN WARRIOR

WHERE SNAKES LIVE... Tapahtui 3 eKv (ennen koronavirusta). Happened 3 BCV (before corona virus). "Dad, I know where snakes live!" "Oh?" // "Snakes live IN THE WORLD!" "Fair enough." "This kid will do well in certain situations..."

NO DEAD PLANTS Jälleen ajalta ennen koronaa. Again from the times before corona. (Coral aquarium) "Are those some sort of worms?" "No, they're plants that are alive!" "Well, big sister doesn't know everything at the age of four yet..."

IN MEMORY OF A GREAT MASTER "I am going to conquer Gaul." // "Yeah right. We're gonna fight back!" "Yep!" // "I shall mobilize my entire army!" // "We'll come and meet you for the fight!" // "One at a time!" // "You first, Julius." "Alea iacta est." (RIP Albert Uderzo 1927-2020) Minä kirjaimellisesti kasvoin lukien Asterixia, ja Asterix oli luultavasti ensimmäinen lukemani sarjakuva - muistan selanneeni meillä kotona olleita albumeita ennen kuin edes ymmärsin, että ne olivat saksaksi... Kuudenkymmenen vuoden jälkeenkin Asterix-sarjakuvat uppoavat edelleen sekä lapsiin että aikuisiin, ja syynä on varmasti yhtä lailla käsikirjoittaja René Goscinnyn tarinat kuin Albert Uderzon taidekin. Molempia ihailen suuresti. Uderzon piirroksia tarkemmin katsoessa huomaa, että hän tajusi ihmiskehon anatomian täydellisesti ja saattoi juuri siksi venyttää sitä niin paljon. Ja ne taustatkin! Tämä maaliskuussa edesmenneen piirtäjämestari Uderzon muistoksi tekemäni pikku sarjakuva tarjosi myös hyvän tilaisuuden pieneen historia- ja nörttiaiheiseen tarinaan. I literally grew up reading Asterix, and Asterix was probably the first comic I ever read - I remember leafing through some issues we had at home before even understanding they were in German... Even after sixty years Asterix comics are read by children and adults alike, surely due to both the stories written by René Goscinny and the art by Albert Uderzo. I greatly admire both of these. When looking at Uderzo's drawings closely you can see that he really understood human anatomy which is why he could stretch it so much. And the backgrounds, too! This little comic I drew in the memory of the great drawer master Uderzo who passed away in March was also a good opportunity to make a small history/nerdy story. Asterix by Goscinny & Uderzo

STRIPES Ihmisaivojen kyky täydentää kuvaa on hämmästyttävä. Tai oikeastaan ehkä kyvyttömyys olla täydentämättä. Human brain has an amazing ability to complete a picture. Or maybe an amazing inability not to complete a picture.

THE GOOSE HERDER AND THE TIGER "Racing with the eagle, soaring with the wind. Flying? There were times I believed I could." "Wanna race?" // "Was that enough? Tomorrow again?" Yhdysvalloissa on enemmän tiikereitä "lemmikkeinä" kuin maailmassa villeinä. Yksityisten huvin ja bisneksen vuoksi kasvattamilla tiikereillä (tai muilla villieläimillä) ei yleensä ole arvoa suojelun kannalta, koska eläimet saattavat olla sisäsiittoisia tai eri alalajien risteymiä. Älkää siis tukeko vastuuttomia eläintenkasvattajia tai sellaisia, jotka esimerkiksi antavat silittää isoja kissoja rahasta. Tukekaa ennemmin niitä tahoja, jotka osallistuvat suojelu- ja luontoonpalautusohjelmiin ja kasvattavat eläimiä kantakirjaohjelmien puitteissa. There are more "pet" tigers in the US than there are wild tigers in the whole world. The tigers (and other wild animals) private people raise for fun and profit rarely have any conservation value as the animals may be inbred or hybrids of different subspecies. Please do not support irresponsible animal raising or people who for example let you pet big cats for money. Rather, support instances that take part in conservation and reintroduction projects and raise animals using studbooks. The quote above from the movie Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron

ASK ME QUESTIONS AGAIN! "Hello everyone! A couple of years ago I asked you readers to ask me questions which I the answered in comic form. I thought that was fun so I'm gonna do that again! // "You can leave a question in the comments by clicking the speech bubble in the upper right corner of this post." // "However, I may not answer every question if you ask something I don't want to tell about, and I'll also answer in the way I like." // "I already wait here, ready to answer, so do send me those questions!" Näitä kysyttiin viimeksi, älkää kysykö samoja: These were asked last time, please don't ask the same questions again: Star Trekin kapteenit / Star Trek captains Sankareiden ominaisuuksia / Hero qualities Sanaleikkejä / Puns Luurankoetsivä / Skeleton detective Laatikko ja hullu mies / The Box and the Madman Maailmankaikkeus / The universe Tohtori / A doctor

ANSWERS 1: CHOOSING GAME "Mother Viper asks..." // (An old Finnish children's game where you first sing a song and then have to choose between two things.) // Bilberry or strawberry: "I do like both a lot. But bilberries are my favorite berries." // Cat or dog: " Cat. And dog. And otter and goat and raven and horse shoe crab and giant squid and okapi and goose and sloth..." // "At the moment I'd rather take a cat as a pet because my life is so irregular that I couldn't properly take care of a dog." // Mountains or coast: "Both are awesome but maybe coast. Especially if there's horizon, tides and fulmars." // Blue or red: "Blue." // William or Harry: "I guess this refers to those British princes... And I honestly don't care. But let's say William, I like that name more." // The Lord of the Rings or The Narnia Chronicles: "Narnia as a book, LOTR as a movie. If I had to pick just one, I'd say Lord of the Rings." // Star Trek or Star Wars: "Noooooo! You can't force me to choose!" // "But right now I think I'd rather watch Star Wars. Clone Wars season three. I may feel differently tomorrow." // Stomachache or headache: "Neither is fun. But I have headache so often that I know how to deal with it, so maybe I'd rather take that." // Flood or drought: "Uhh... let's say flood." // War or pandemic: "Pandemic. Obviously. I mean, pandemic isn't fun either but war is always something that divides humanity and causes crutches. Pandemic, on the other hand, can unite humanity to do something good and help each other during and after the pandemic." // Putin or Trump: "So, idiot or nutcase? I don't know, Putin disgusts me less somehow." // "So: bilberry, cat, coast, blue, William, The Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, headache, flood, pandemic, Putin. Sounds like some weird password. Which would you pick?"

ANSWERS 2: QUALITIES OF A GOOD GIRL/BOYFRIEND "Viiwu asks... "Why would you be a good girlfriend?"" // "For those who don't know: Viiwu has been trying to find me a man for a couple of years so that she could become a godmother. So this is your job! You can't make me work on this one! But anyways..." // "I'm generally speaking a pretty nice and kind person." // I don't like fighting, and if and when I occasionally lash out, it doesn't last for very long." // I don't have to be taken into expensive night clubs or ever wait for me to be done with make-up. "Your beard is fine, can we go already?" // "Of course if you want a girlfriend who uses a lot of make-up and with whom you can go to expensive night clubs, I may not be the optimal partner. But I would very much like a peaceful movie night at home." // I like all sorts of animals so I welcome even more unusual family members (I won't kiss a spider, they can stay in their terrariums). // You can go to a romantic camping trip with me. // "And also I make really good ginger cookies.Also vegan and gluten free. But you can have them without being my boyfriend." "Viiwu also wants to know ten things that need to be for me to live with a man for 20 years. These are in no particular order." // 1. He does his share of homework. // 2. Has some sense of humor. // 3. Doesn't think violence or such stuff is great (watching action movies is fine). // 4. Thinks that environmental issues are important. // 5. Realizes that I also need some time to be alone. // 6. Doesn't touch my art stuff without permission. // 7. Accepts the fact that I'm a bit weird nerd. "New comics." "Okay." // 8. Understands that we both can have other things in our lives. "Have fun! "See you in the evening!" // 9. Is not totally helpless (Warming a pizza doesn't count as cooking). // 10. (If we get children) Agrees that it's good to send kind on a nature camp. // "I hope that's not too much to ask!"

ANSWERS 3: BIOLOGISMS "Username Koira sent me a question about my career as a biologist. They want to know what I'll do when I'm grown up. I don't know when I'll be 'grown up'." // "I can start by telling that I've always been really interested in animals, and becoming a biologist has always been a clear path to me." // I grew up watching sir David Attenborough's nature documentaries. // "Mom, how does one get to study animals like sir David?" "Well, first you need to go to school. And then to high school. And then study biology in the university." So that's what I did!" // "And from the very beginning I wanted to go to the rubber boot department. The opposite being the white-coat or lab biologist." // "Now I officially have rubber boots as I'm a master of ecology. Above all else I'd like to be a researcher. For that I'd probably need to have a PhD. I'd probably need to look for some information about things..." // "Sure, I could carry on with owls... And I've gotten to know geese pretty well, too..." // "Of course it would be so cool to work in some rewilding process. We'll see where I end up." "At the moment I'm working in the zoo. It's a freelance and seasonal job, not permanent." // "I've always said that if I got a penny every time I talked about animals, I'd be rich. And now I'm actually being payed for it!" // "As of late, I have been talking about animals in the zoo's videos - in a way I'm like sir David! It's been really much fun though I never thought I'd end up as a social media star." // "Popularizing science is by the way also something I'm interested and could work on. After all, I drew my master's thesis as a comic ! // "Working as a teacher is also something a biologist can do but I haven't studied teaching. Working as a substitute teacher last winter taught me that I don't want to work as a teacher all my life." // "Of course I have worked as a substitute teacher in nature school as well and it was fun. So I could do some environmental education stuff as well." // "At the moment I'm pretty happy with what I do but a PhD might be the next step. I also very much feel like these rubber boots are the right shoes for me. Let's see where I'll end up in these!"

ANSWERS 4: HORSES AND ARM WRESTLING "Snowhorse asks: 'Who would win in arm wrestling, Dumbledore or Gandalf?'" // "Well, Gandalf and Dumbledore of course won't settle arguments with arm wrestling. Instead, they'll join forces against enemies..." (Bearded gurus' meet-up) // Dumbles takes care of Balrog... "Flames extinguish!" // "Eep!" "Hehe." // ...and Gandalf deals with Voldemort. "Avada kedavra!" "Argh!" // "I've come back - more powerful than before!" "Oh nose!" // "Hehe!" "Eep!" // "In all seriousness though, I'd say that in a fair, non-magical arm wrestling competition Gandalf would win. Just because Gandalf leads an outdoors life and whacks down orcs with Glamdring every other day." "Sorry, Dumbles." "Congratulations." "Snowhorse also asks: 'If you could have any kind of a horse now what kind of a horse would you get?'" // "Well, of course a zoo-born Mongolian wild horse." // One with good genes and healthy hooves so that it could be taken into rewilding program. // Then it could be released into the Mongolian steppe. // "If we're talking about a horse to ride, I'd like a big, easy-going and outdoors-y horse. Like a Clydesdale horse." Harry Potter by J. K. Rowling The Lord of the Rings by J. R. R. Tolkien

ANSWERS 6: EXILE Note to my non-Finnish readers: in this comic I'm talking about a Finnish book that, to my knowledge, has never been translated to English. Hence the translations are my own. "Mr Brony asks: 'If you'd need to go to exile from this universe and live in the world of some book/movie/TV series, where would you go?'" // "Ooh, there are so many possibilities, how can I even choose!" // "There's Redwall, Star Wars, Star Trek, Stargate, Harry Potter, The Three Musketeers, Watership Down, The Lord of the Rings, The Chronicles of Narnia, Donald Duck, Tex Willer, Ninja Turtles, Moomins, Farthing Wood, Spirou & Fantasio, Asterix, Doctor Who and so many others..." // "No wait, there's an extra rule: 'You cannot choose a lore that has previously been mentioned in this blog.'" // "Oh." // "Well, actually the extra rule makes this easier now that I don't have to choose between the ones I mentioned above. Instead, I'll choose..." // "Spice Land. It makes an appearance in Annina Holmberg's novel Jorney to Spice Land. The novel has been illustrated by Hannu Lukkarinen." "Spice Land is the land of good flavors and sweet dreams. In here are refined and mixed in the perfect form all the flavors in the world, all those ingredients without which life would be bland and dull..." All the spirits of spices live in Spice Land - Pepper Princess, Mint Ogre, Clove Witch, Cinnamon Fairies, Nutmeg Gnome, Laurel Dragon and many others... It is an beautiful, exciting and kind land, and the book that tells about it is one of my childhood favorites (and I still like it very much!). // Even though cardamom already has its own spirit, I could be Cardamom Centaur... // ...I'd live in a canyon and make cardamom cookies. (Because in Spice Land everything has alliteration!) // "Hmm, I suddenly really want cardamom cookies..." Sarjiksen luonnosteltuani menin ja tein kardemummakeksejä. Oikeasti. After sketching this comic I made cardamom cookies. Really. Matka Makuniaan by Annina Holmberg

Monet sarjakuvistani ovat vähän liioiteltuja. Tämä ei ole. Many of my comics are a bit exaggerated. This one is not. "Hey goose, do you have to stand in the middle of the road?" "Come on, move." "Shoo, shoo." // "No can do, he won't move." // "Buddy, you should go to the lawn now." // "Quack." // "Ho-ho-how did you do that?" "This is why my pin says 'Goose Mama' and yours don't."

ANSWERS 6: FREE TIME "Whale lähettää terveisiä Bielefeldistä..." // "Moi vaan!" // "...ja kysyy myös: 'Mistä nautit viettäessäsi aikaa yksin?'" // "Vaikka pidänkin ystävistäni, tarvitsen myös jonkin verran omaa aikaa." // Yksi asia, jota mielelläni teen yksin, on että menen pitkälle kävelylle ja vain katselen lintuja ja puita... ja kuuntelen omia ajatuksiani. // Lukeminen on myös sellainen juttu, mistä todella nautin... // ...kuten myös piirtämisestä tai maalaamisesta, kun samalla kuuntelen jotain hyvää musiikkia tai podcastiä. "Tämä sarjis on aika meta, koska tuota minä teen piirtäessäni tätä sarjista!"

LEARN TO KNOW YOUR GEESE "All barnacle geese look pretty much alike - at the first glimpse." // "But when you bother to observe them for a moment, you'll see that you can identify individuals." // All barnacle geese have unique white face pattern, and also the size and shape of the black area between beak and eye varies between individuals. // For example, if you wanted to study these geese you could easily identify different individuals! // "At first it may also seem that males and females look exactly the same. But especially if they move in pairs you can quickly learn to tell the difference between the male and the female, and an experienced observer can tell the sex of even a single goose quite easily." Males are on average larger than females. A large female and a small male can be the same size but usually male is bigger. // A female's abdomen is rounder than male's, especially before laying eggs. // Males tend to walk more up straight, and females walk in a more "waddly" way. // When in comes to the white face mask, males tend to have sharper and cleaner line between black and white. Females often have brown-ish hue in their white face mask. // "During breeding time it is easy to tell a male and a female apert. The female incubates the eggs and the male guard the nest, and that's it!"

GETTING CYNICAL "A bad side of working with geese is that, well... some things become a bit too everyday." // "Yeah, I was also once attacked by a goose so that his wing hit me in the neck." "Once? Cute."

GEESE RELATE "I'll go and see how to geese on the cliffs are doing." // "They were very nicely there." // "Ow!" // "Is this occupational accident of yours goose-related?" "Well... in a way..." En murtanut mitään. I didn't break any bones.

THE LAST GOOSE MISSION OF THE SEASON "Goose team, do you hear?" // "Kati hears." "A customer informed us that a goose chick has gotten stuck into the fence of the gazelle enclosure." // "I'm on my way!" // "Over there." "I see." // "You're a bit too big to go through the fence any longer, buddy..." // "Luckily you don't appear to have hurt yourself." "But now we're over here... and your family is in the gazelle enclosure on the other side of a high fence!" // "Could the gazelle keeper let me into the enclosure so that I can take a goose there, please...?" "Yep." // Approximately 1.38 seconds later... "Hi!" "What's up?" // "Thanks!" // "Go to your family now."

BRUISES "Oops." // "Whoops." // "Ouch." // "Oh look, I've got bruises all over my body again. Because I get bruises ridiculously easily." // "I've gotten used to it, though, ever since I was a kid. As a kid I was always so bruised that my mom even gave me a nickname..." // "Oh dear child, from now on I'll call you Katipard because you are as spotted as a leopard." "Yay, I'm a leopard!" // "It's not a problem, the bruises heal in time, too. But I get into awkward situations at doctor's appointment..." // "Has someone hit you? Or are you in a violent relationship?" "I have a violent relationship with the world." Huomautettakoon: oikeasti arvostan sitä, että lääkärit kysyy asiasta. Väkivaltainen suhde ei ole hyvä juttu. Note: I actually do appreciate that the doctors ask. Violent relationships are not okay.

THE RAVEN AND THE LION Leireillämme on tapana leikkiä ensimmäisenä nimileikkinä luontonimileikkiä, jossa kaikkien pitää keksiä itselleen luontonimi, eli esimerkiksi eläin tai kasvi, joka alkaa samalla kirjaimella kuin oma nimi. Minun luontonimeni on jo aikoja ollut Korppi, ja johtajaparini nimi on Leijona (koska hänen nimensä alkaa L-kirjaimella). Yhdessä johtamamme leiri inspiroi minut kuvaamaan meidät yhdessä eläinhahmoissamme. On our camps the first game we usually play is the nature name game in which everyone has to come up with a nature name for themselves - for example an animal or a plant that begins with the same letter as your first name. My nature name has been for years Raven (as the Finnish word for raven, korppi, begins with K as does my name), and my leader partner's is Lion (because her name begins with L). The camp we led together inspired me to draw us together in our animal forms.

ONCE UPON AN RPG Eli "Minuel ampuu". Aka. "Minuel shoots". "Good shot, Minuel!" // "Here's your arrow." "Thanks, Terry." // "That would be such a cool scene in a movie or something!" "Indeed!" "You must make it into a comic." "Yeah!" Minuel tai Terry eivät kumpikaan ole minun hahmojani, enkä tiedä, miltä heidän pitäisi tarkalleen näyttää. Neither Minuel nor Terry is my character, and I don't know what they're actually supposed to look like.

DRAGONS En ollut vuosiin kunnolla piirtänyt lohikäärmeitä, joten päätin raapustaa muutaman. Halusin ottaa niihin mallia ja inspiraatiota todellisista eläimistä, varsinkin värien puolesta. I hadn't drawn dragons properly in years so I decided to draw some. I wanted to take some inspiration for these designs from real animal, especially for the colors. Ensimmäinen sai inspiraationsa riikinkukosta... The first one was inspired by peacock... ...ja toinen pikkupandasta. ...and the second by red panda. Millainen lohikäärme olisi sinusta kiva nähdä? Ehdota eläintä inspiraatioksi! What kind of a dragon would you like to see? Suggest an animal for inspiration!

SAW Eli "Rankka leiri vaatii rankat vitsit". Aka. "A rough camp requires rough jokes". Saw. Saw. Saw. // "Imagine that is the neck of the most annoying camp kid." // Sawsawsawsawsawsawsawsawsawsawsawsawsaw...

CAMP GETS OLDER, PUNS GET WORSE

DRAGONS 2 Ensimmäisessä lohikäärmepostauksessani pyysin lukijoitani ehdottamaan otuksia, joihin perustuvia lohikäärmeitä voisin piirtää. Sain ilahduttavan monta ehdotusta, ja tässä ensimmäinen erä niihin perustuvia lohikäärmeitä. In my first dragon article I asked my readers to suggest animals I could base some dragon designs on. I got many suggestions, and here are the first dragons based on them. Ennen kuin edes ehdin laittaa edellisen lohikäärmepostauksen nettiin, herra Brony pyysi minua piirtämään hevoslohikäärmeen. Tämä oli sillä tavalla mielenkiintoinen haaste, että useimmat lohikäärmeeni ovat jo valmiiksi aika hevosmaisia! Jouduin siis miettimään, miten teen lohikäärmeestä vielä selkeämmin hevosmaisen. Before I even posted the first dragons online, Mr Brony asked me to draw a horse dragon. This was an interesting challenge because my dragons generally are pretty horse-like to begin with! So I had to think how to make a dragon even more horse-like. Heikki Morgan Hämäläinen ehdotti mandrillilohikäärmettä. Mandrilleilla on jo itsessään niin hurja naama ja hienot värit, ettei se tarvinnut juuri muuta kuin siivet ja kunnon hännän. Sarvet lisäsin ihan huvin vuoksi. Mandrilli oli hyvin inspiroiva lohikäärmeotus. Heikki Morgan Hämäläinen suggested a mandrill dragon. Mandrills have such awesome colors and face already that it didn't need much more than wings and a proper tail. I added horns just for fun. Mandrill was a very inspiring dragon prompt. Luin ensin vahingossa mandrillin makrillina. Makrilleilla on todella kaunis väritys, joten innostuin piirtämään myös makrillilohikäärmeen. I first read mandrill as mackerel. Mackerels have such beautiful colors so a drew a mackerel dragon too. TJ pyysi hämähäkkilohikäärmettä, jonka suunnitteleminen olikin jännää puuhaa - miten ne kaikki raajat tulisi tunkea samaan kuvaan? Lopulliseen varsioon päädyin ottamaan inspiraatiota tarantuloista. Hämähäkkilohikäärme ei syökse tulta vaan seittiä. TJ asked for a spider dragon. Designing it was interesting - how to fit all those limbs in the picture? The final version is inspired by tarantulas. Spider dragons don't breathe fire but the spit webs. Katariinan ehdottamat siili- ja kirahvilohikäärme jäävät toiseen postaukseen. Uusiakin ehdotuksia otetaan vastaan. Näitä on hauska tehdä, en ikinä keksisi kaikkia näitä eläinyhdistelmiä itse! The hedgehog and giraffe dragons suggested by Katariina will be saved for another post. I will gladly hear new suggestions, too! Designing these dragons is fun and I'd never come up with all the animal combinations myself!

JUST FIFTEEN MINUTES MORE... "Yeah, I'll just fix my bike and take that stuff there, and then I'll come and help you with this building thing!" // "...huh?" // "Or maybe I'll just sleep a little more and do none of those things..."

DRAGONS 3 Lisää minulle ehdotettuja lohikäärmeitä! Katariina oli miettinyt mahdollisimman epälohikäärmemäisiä eläimiä ja päätynyt kirahviin ja siiliin - tässä siis kirahvilohikäärme ja siililohikäärme. Ihan hyviä lohikäärmeitä niistäkin sai. More dragons suggested to me! Katariina had thought which animals are as un-dragon-like as possible and suggested a giraffe and a hedgehog for inspiration - so here you have a giraffe dragon and a hedgehog dragon. They made pretty good dragons as well. Kyyemo ehdotti myös valkoposkihanhilohikäärmettä, joten tässä vielä sellainenkin. Mother Viper suggested a barnacle goose dragon so here's one of them too. Jos vielä löytyy hyviä ideoita, niin saa yhä ehdottaa! If you have more good ideas, do suggest them in the comments!

MONTH OF NONSENSE BEGINS! "This may come as a surprise and a shock to some of you... but I'm pretty much a nerd." // "And as a movie/book/comics nerd I often use words and terms that don't mean anything." // "Words that actually mean a lot if you know the lore and point behind the word." // "This month I want to introduce you to 29 words and expressions that don't mean anything to people not in the know. One word per one letter of the alphabet, you know how this goes by now." // "And don't worry, I'll tell you on the way where each word is from and what it means! Come on, now! The first nonsense coming up tomorrow..."

ANKEUTTAJA – DEMENTOR (Harry Potter) ”Get too near a Dementor and every good feeling, every happy memory will be sucked out of you...” Ankeuttajat ovat Azkabanin velhovankilan kammottavia vartijoita. Ne elävät ihmisten iloisista tunteista ja ajatuksista, ja niiden läsnäolo vaivuttaa jokaisen masennuksen ja kauhun valtaan. Yleiskielessä ankeuttajalla voidaan viitata henkilöön, joka tuntuu imevän kaiken ilon ja tarmon muista läsnäolijoista. Dementors are the terrifying guards of the wizard prison Azkaban. They feed on people’s happy feelings and thoughts and their sheer presence makes everyone become depressed and fearful. The word dementor is (at least in Finland) sometimes used to describe a person who drains all happiness and energy from other people around. The quote by Remus Lupin in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban Harry Potter by J.K. Rowling

BAABELIN KALA – BABEL FISH (Linnunradan käsikirja liftareille – The Hitch-Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy ) ”Probably the oddest thing in the universe.” Baabelin kala on pieni keltainen verijuotikas, joka käyttää ympäristönsä alitajuisia aivoaaltoja ravintonaan ja tuottaa niistä ymmärrettävän version. Eli jos laitat Baabelin kalan korvaasi, ymmärrät heti kaikkia universumin kieliä. Tämä on mahdollisesti paras selitys missään scifissä sille, miksi kaikki hahmot ymmärtävät toisiaan, vaikka ovat kotoisin eri planeetoilta. Eräs internetin käännöskoneista on nimetty Baabelin kalan mukaan. Kyseinen käännöskone ei käännä suomea. The Babel is a small, yellow and leech-like creature that uses the unconscious mental frequescies of its surroundings for food and produces an understandable version. So if you put a Babel fish in your ear you’ll immediately understand all the languaged in the universe. This is possibly the best explanation in any scifi as for why people from different planets can understand each other. One translating website is named after the Babel fish. Said site doesn’t translate Finnish. The quote above from the Hitch-Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy in the novel by the same name The Hitch-Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams

CLANKER (Star Wars: The Clone Wars) ”Roger roger.” Kauppaliiton perusmallin taisteludroidin nimi on oikeastaan B1, mutta kloonisotilaat kutsuvat niitä nimellä ”clankers” (en tiedä, miten sana on käännetty, koska olen katsonut sarjaa lähinnä ilman tekstityksiä). Clanker pääsi mukaan listalle, koska a) se on mielestäni hirveän hyvä ja hauska sana kuvaamaan taisteludroideja, ja b) koska minusta on hienoa, että kloonisotilaille on luotu omia slangisanoja. The basic Trade Federation battle droid is actually called B1 but the clone troopers call them clankers. This word made it to my list because a) I think it’s a funny and really good word to describe those droids and b) I find it awesome that the clone troopers were given their own slang in the show. The quote above by pretty much every B1 battle droid ever (and, at least once, also Captain Rex) Star Wars created by George Lucas

D’ARVIT (Artemis Fowl) ”D’Arvit!” D’Arvit on keijunkielinen kirosana. Sen tarkkaa merkitystä ei koskaan kerrota, joten jokainen saa itse päättää, mitä se tarkoittaa. Se on kuitenkin hyvin yleisessä käytössä keijujen keskuudessa. Sopii myös ihmisten käyttöön, jos tahtoo manailla niin, etteivät muut tajua. D’Arvit is a Gnommish swear word. Its exact meaning is never told so everyone can decide for themselves how to interpret it. However, it is widely used by the fairy folk. It is also very usable among humans if you want to swear without others getting it. The quote above from basically all Artemis Fowl books by various characters Artemis Fowl by Eoin Colfer

ENTIT – ENTS (Taru sormusten herrasta – The Lord of the Rings ) ”It takes a long time to say anything in Old Entish, and we never say anything unless it is worth taking a long time to say.” Entit näyttävät käveleviltä puilta, mutta eivät suinkaan ole sitä. Ne ovat puiden paimenia ja metsän vartijoita, jotka huolehtivat metsien puista ja eläimistä. Entit pysyttelevät enimmäkseen omissa oloissaan ja puolueettomina, mutta auta armias, jos menet kaatamaan puita enemmän kuin on tarpeen. Maidän maailmallamme olisi käyttöä muutamalle entille ja niiden viisaudelle. Ents look like walking trees but are not. They are tree-herders, shepprads of the forest, who take care of the woods, their trees and animals. The ents mostly keep to themselves and don’t choose sides, but God help you if you cut down more trees than needed. Our world could surely use some ents and their wisdom. The quote above by Treebeard in The Two Towers The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien

LUKITTU PISTE AJASSA – FIXED POINT IN TIME (Doctor Who) ”That's how I see the universe. Every waking second, I can see what is, what was, what could be, what must not. That's the burden of a Time Lord, Donna. And I'm the only one left.” Ajassa matkustaessaan voi muuttaa menneisyyttä ja tulevaisuutta, miksei nykyisyyttäkin. Mutta on joitakin asioita, joiden on pakko tapahtua, jotta kaikki muu voisi olla olemassa. Näitä hetkiä sanotaan lukituiksi, eikä niitä voi muuttaa. Vaikka aikamatkustus on tietääkseni toistaiseksi fiktiota, tulee joskus mieleen kysymys ”Mitkä ovat minun elämäni lukitut hetket? Mitkä ovat ne asiat, joiden on ollut pakko tapahtua, jotta olen tässä ja nyt?” Ennen aikamatkustuksen keksimistä kysymys pysynee teoreettisena. If you travel in time, you can change past and future, and why not present, too. But there ase some things that must happen for everything else to exist. These are called fixed points in time and they cannot be changed. Even though time travel is, as far as I know, still fiction, I sometimes wonder, ”What are the fixed points in my life? What are the things that must have happened so that I’m right here right now?” Until we actually invent time travel, I believe the question remains theoretical. The quote above by the Doctor in the episode The Fires of Pompeii (where it turns out that the destruction of Pompeii is a fixed point in time) Doctor Who by BBC

ROHKELIKKO – GRYFFINDOR (Harry Potter) ”You might belong in Gryffindor, Where dwell the brave at heart, Their daring, nerve, and chivalry Set Gryffindors apart.” Tylypahkan velhokoulussa jaetaan oppilaat tupiin luonteenpiirteiden mukaan. Rohkelikot ovat huimapäisiä ja rohkeita. Muista tuvista Korpinkynteen päätyvät nokkelat ja nopeaälyiset, Puuskupuhiin ahkerat ja uskolliset ja Luihuiseen ovelat ja kunnianhimoiset. On ehkä jokseenkin epäilyttävää jaotella esiteinit luonteen mukaan ryhmiin koko kouluajaksi, mutta varmaan jokainen Potterinsa lukenut on pohtinut, mihin tupaan itse kuuluisi. Itse olen aina tunnustanut Korpinkynnen sini-pronssisia värejä. In the Hogwarts wizarding school students are divided into hoses according to their personality traits. Gryffindors are brave daredevils. Other houses are Ravenclaw (smart and quick-witted), Hufflepuf (hard-working and loyal) and Slytherin (cunning and ambitious). It may be somewhat suspicious to divide preteens into groups for their whole school time according to their personality but I guess everyone who’s read their Potters has wondered which house they’d be in. I’ve always thought I’d be a Ravenclaw. The quote above by the Sorting Hat in Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone Harry Potter by J.K. Rowling

HRAIR (Ruohometsän kansa – Watership Down) ”Are there many of you?” ”Hrair.” Kaniinit osaavat laskea neljään. Kaikki sen jälkeen on ”hrair” eli ”paljon” tai ”tuhat”. ”U Hrair”, ”Tuhat” tarkoittaa kaniinien vihollisia, kuten kettua, kissaa ja kärppää. Ihmistenkin elämässä hrair on käyttökelpoinen epämääräisen lukumäärän ilmaisu esimerkiksi seuraavassa keskustelussa: ”Montako purkkia margariinia meillä on leirissä?” ”Hrair.” Rabbits can count to four. Anything above that it ”hrair” which means ”many” or ”a thousand”. ”U Hrair”, ”The Thousand” refers to all the enemies of the rabbits, such as foxes, cats and weasels. In human life hrair is also a usable word to refer an unspecified number of things, for example in following context: ”How many boxes of margarine do we have in the camp?” ”Hrair.” The quote above by Captain Holly and Bigwig Watership Down by Richard Adams

PERSOONALLISUUSSAARET – ISLANDS OF PERSONALITY (Inside Out) ”Fashion Island?!?! [gasps] Everyone shut up.” Inside Out opettaa meille, että jokaisen päässä asuu joukko tunteita, että muistomme säilötään palloihin ja että tärkeimmät muistomme muodostavat persoonallisuussaaria, jotka kuvastavat meidän tärkeimpiä persoonallisuuspiirteitämme. On hauskaa miettiä, millaisia persoonallisuussaaria itsellä olisi ja mistä muistoista ne saavat voimansa. Olen aika varma, että yksi minun saaristani olisi erään tietyn leirisaaren muotoinen… Inside Out teaches us that there is a bunch of feelings living our heads, that our memories are stored on orbs and that the most important memories we have power up islands of personality that represent our most crucial personality traits. It’s fun to think what kind of islands I’d have and what memories created them. I’m pretty sure one of my islands would be the shape of a certain camping island… The quote above by Disgust Inside Out by Pixar

JÄSTI – MUGGLE (Harry Potter) “Don't be sorry, my dear sir, for nothing could upset me today! Rejoice, for You-Know-Who is gone at last! Even muggles like yourself should be celebrating this happy, happy day.” Jästillä tarkoitetaan henkilöä, joka ei taio, eli siis sellaista, joka ei ei ole velho tai noita. Harvat jästit myöskään tietävät taikuudesta mitään. Sana jästi on erinomaisen käyttökelpoinen kuvaamaan myös niitä, jotka eivät tiedä mistään mitään (ainakaan niistä asioista, jotka keskustelun toiselle osapuolelle ovat tärkeitä). A muggle is a person who cannot perform magic, which means someone who is not a witch or a wizard. Few muggles know anything about magic. The word muggle is very useful to describe someone who doesn’t know anything (at least about thins that are important to the other person in the conversation). The quote above by a violet-cloaked wizard in Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone Harry Potter by J.K. Rowling

KRYPTONIITTI – KRYTONITE (Teräsmies - Superman ) ”I want the means to stop me to be in the hands of a man I can trust with my life.” Jokaisella meillä on heikkoutemme. Akilleella se oli kantapää. Teräsmiehellä se on hänen kotiplaneetaltaan kotoisin oleva vihreä mineraali. On se hyvä, että Teräsmiehelläkin on kryptoniittinsa. Muutenhan saattaisimme pitää tätä supervahvaa, supernopeaa ja lentävää supersankaria jotenkin liian vahvana. Every one of us has their weakness. Achilles had his heel. For Superman it is a green mineral from his home planet. It’s good that Superman has his kryptonite. Otherwise we might find this super strong, super fast, flying super hero a bit over-powered. The quote above by Superman to Batman after giving him some kryptonite in Superman: The Man of Steel issue 21 Superman by DC Comics

LEMBAS (Taru sormusten herrasta – The Lord of the Rings ) ”Ah, yes. Lembas bread. And look! More lembas bread.” Lembas on haltioiden valmistamaa matkaleipää, hyvin ravitsevaa ja säilyy ikuisesti. Eräs valmistamani kuivattu hedelmäteeleipä on vastaavien ominaisuuksiensa ansiosta saanut kavereiltani nimekseen lembas. Voin jakaa teille sen reseptin tässä (alkuperäinen, hieman erilainen resepti on Brian Jacquesin kirjasta The Redwall Cookbook. Mainittakoon, että mittayksikkö kuppi on noin 2,3 dl): - 3 kupillista kuivattuja hedelmiä (esim. runinoita, kultarusinoita ja ananasta) - 1,5 kupillista kuumaa teetä - 4 teelusikallista fariinisokeria - 1,5 kupillista grahamjauhoja - 1,25 kupillista vehnäjauhoja - jauhettua kanelia, kuivattua inkivääriä ja jauhettua muskottipähkinää, kutakin 2 teelusikallista - 2 teelusikallista leivinjauhetta - 1 teelusikallinen suolaa - öljyä Laita kuivatut hedelmät kulhoon ja kaada kuuma tee päälle. Sekoita sokeri joukkoon ja anna seistä 5 minuuttia. Sekoita kuivat aineet keskenään ja lisää sitten hedelmien joukkoon. Kaada taikina öljyttyyn (leipä)vuokaan ja paista uunissa 190 asteessa noin tunti. Jos haluat kuivata teeleivän, jotta se säilyisi paremmin, leikkaa se ohuiksi viipaleiksi ja kuivata miedolla lämmöllä uunissa. Lembas is a travel bread made by elves. It is very stomach-filling and stays good forever. A dried tea bread with fruits I occasionally make has earned the name of lembas from my friends due to its lembas-like qualities. I’ll share the receipt with you here (the original, slightly different receipt is from The Redwall Cookbook by Brian Jacques): - 3 cups driet fruit (such as raisins, golden raisins and pineapple) - 1,5 cups hot tea - 4 teaspoons brown sugar - 1,5 cups whole-wheat flour - 1,25 cups all-purpose flour - ground cinnamon, ginger and nutmeg, 2 teaspoons each - 2 teaspoons baking powder - 1 teaspoon salt - cooking oil Put the dried fruit in a bowl and add the tea. Mix in the sugar and let sit for 5 minutes. Mix the flour, baking powder and spices and add them to the fruit. Scrape the dough into a (loaf)pan and bake in 190 C (375 F) for one hour. If you wish to dry the tea bread, cut it into thin slices and dry in oven. The quote above by Sam in the movie The Two Towers The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien

MORFAAMINEN – MORPHING (Animorphs) ”Just tell them we're Animorphs.” ”Tell them we're what?” ”Idiot teenagers with a death wish.” Animorphs-kirjojen päähenkilöt pystyvät muuttumaan eläimiksi eli morfaamaan alien-teknologian ansiosta. Kirjojen mukaan morfaaminen ei satu, mutta näyttää kammottavalta. Ainakaan teininä, kun näitä kirjoja luin, en olisi antanut minkään maailman kammottavuuden estää minua muuttumasta eläimeksi, jos siihen vain olisi ollut tilaisuus. Olisi se ollut niin siistiä In the Animorphs book series the main characters can morph or turn into animals thanks to alien technology. According to the books, morphing doesn’t hurt but it looks terrible. When I was a teenager and reading these books I wouldn’t have let the way it looks, no matter how horrible, stop me from turning into animals if I had had the chance. It just would have been so cool. The quote above by Marco and Rachel in the first book, The Invasion Animorphs by K.A. Applegate

NATIAINEN – DIBBUN (Redwallin taru – A Tale of Redwall ) ”Oi tole ee, Bungo bee’s gonned, an’ all ee likkle villyuns, too. Thurr bee’s only uz leafs yurr!” ”Well, I’m going inside. All you leaves can stay out here in the dark.” Redwallin luostarissa asuvia eläinlapsia kutsutaan yhteisnimellä Natiaiset. Kyseistä nimeä käytetään oikeastaan kaikenikäisistä lapsista, ihan vauvoista melkein teini-ikäisiin. Ihmisten maailmassa Natiainen on mitä mainioin sana kuvaamaan pieniä lapsia. The animal children living in the Redwall Abbey are called Dibbuns. The name can refer to children of all ages, from babies to preteens. In the human world, the word Dibbun can very well be used for small children, too. The quote above by the Dibbun Bungo and young Mattimeo in The Redwall Cookbook A Tale of Redwall by Brian Jacques

KERTALAAKI(TM) – OMNISOLVE(TM) (Aku Ankka – Donald Duck ) ”This is worth every cent of the fee I promised you!” ”$50! Wow!” KertalaakiTM on mustaa mönjää ja maailman paras yleisliuotin. Se menee läpi mistä tahansa paitsi timanteista. KertalaakinTM keksi tietenkin Pelle Peloton, tosin se esiintyi jo aikaisemmin Don Rosan The Pertwillaby Papers -sarjakuvassa. KertalaakistaTM puhuttaessa on erittäin tärkeää laittaa se TM mukaan. Eihän tässä nyt mistä tahansa kertalaakista puhuta, vaan siitä ihan tietystä! (Ikävä kyllä Wordpress ei tue sellaisia yläkirjaimia kuin miten TM:n pitäisi olla...) The OmnisolveTM is the best universal solvent in the world. It goes through everything except for diamonds. OmnisolveTM was of course inwented by Gyro Gearloose, though it had previously appeared in Don Rosa’s The Pertwillaby Papers. When talking about OmnisolveTM it is important to put that TM there. Were not talkin about any omnisolve here, but the one special kind! (Too bad Wordpress doesn't do those little upper letters I'd need to get that TM right...) The quote above by Scrooge McDuck and Gyro Gearloose in Don Rosa’s The Universal Solvent Donald Duck by Disney

PADAWAN (Star Wars) ”I will travel to Coruscant, the Council of Jedi Teach Padawans to understand the power of the Light Side...” Padawan tarkoittaa jedioppilasta, jolla on oma mestari, jota padawan seuraa ja jota mestari opettaa. Täällä meidän galaksissamme padawanilla voidaan viitata jonkun toisen oppilaaseen oikeastaan millä alalla vain. Itse sanon usein padawaneiksi niitä, jotka olen kouluttanut leirinjohtajiksi. On myös mukavaa tulla kutsutuksi mestariksi. Padawan means a Jedi apprentice who has their own Master they follow around and are taught by. In our galaxy any student of someone else on any field could be referred to as a Padawan. I often call Padawans the people I’ve taught how to lead camps. It’s also fun to be called Master. The quote above by the song Padawan (parody of the Pokémon theme song) by RoyishGoodLooks Star Wars created by George Lucas

QAPLA’ (Star Trek) ”Qapla’!” ”Qapla’” on klingoninkielinen lausahdus, joka tarkoittaa ”menestystä”. Sitä voi käyttää onnentoivotuksena, hyvästinä ja tervehdyksenä, koska klingonin kielessä ei ole sellaisia turhia sanoja kuin ”tervehdys” tai ”näkemiin”. Oman maailmamme nörtit käyttävät qapla’ta usein onnentoivotuksena tai hyvästelynä ystävien kesken. ”Qapla’” is Klingon and means ”success”. It can be used to wish luck, or to say ”hello” or ”good bye” as there are no sich useless words in the Klingon language. The nerds of our own world often use qaple’ to wish good luck or say good bye to friends. The quote above by various characters (in the picture written with Klingon alphabet) Star Trek created by Gene Roddenberry

PUNAPAITA – REDSHIRT (Star Trek) ”He’s dead.” Kun alkuperäisen Star Trekin päähahmot menivät jollekin uudelle planeetalle, heillä oli mukanaan usein punaiseen univormuun pukeutunut turvamies, joka sitten aika pian kuoli. Tämä kertoi katsojille, että tilanne oli oikeasti vaarallinen, mutta käsikirjoittajan ei tarvinnut tappaa päähenkilöitä. Punapaitaisia turvamiehiä kuoli niin paljon, että a) seuraavissa sarjoissa turvallisuusväki pukeutui keltaisiin ja b) tällaisiin kirjallisuuden hahmoihin, joiden tehtävä on kuolla, jotta lukijalle/katsojalle/kuulijalle selviää tilanteen vaarallisuuus, viitataan usein punapaitoina. In the original Star Trek, when the main characters went to some new planet they were often accompanied by a security officer wearing a red uniform who soon was killed. This told the viewer that the situation was dangerous, yet the writer didn’t have to kill the main characters. The red-wearing security officers were killed so often that a) in the following series the security personnel wore yellow uniforms and b) the characters in literature that are there to die so that the reader/viewer/listener understands the danger of the situation are often referred to as redshirts. The quote above by Dr McCoy basically every time someone dies Star Trek created by Gene Roddenberry

SUOJELIUS – PATRONUS (Harry Potter) ”The Patronus is a kind of positive force, a projection of the very things that teh dementor feeds upon – hope, happiness, the desire to survive – but it cannot feel despair, as real humans can, so the dementors can’t hurt it.” Suojelius on eräänlainen ankeuttajan vastavoima ja ainoa keino karkoittaa ankeuttajat. Suojelius on positiivisten tunteitten ja toivon luoma hahmo, joka ottaa jonkin eläimen muodon. Tämä eläin kuvaa jollakin tavalla suojeliuksen luojaa. Yleisimpiä suojeliuksia ovat kuulemma kissat, koirat ja hevoset. Pottermoren ”virallisen suojeliustestin” mukaan minun suojeliukseni olisi lohi, mikä on minusta aika siistiä. Patronus is kind of the counter-force to a dementors and the only way to chase dementors away. Patronus is takes the form of an animal and is formed of good feelings and hope. The animal form it takes somehow represents the person who cast the patronus. The most common patronus animals are cats, dogs and horses. According to the ”Pottermore official patronus test” my petronus would be a salmon which I think is pretty cool. The quote above by Remus Lupin in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban Harry Potter by J.K. Rowling

TAIKAJUOMA – MAGIC POTION (Asterix) ”Those herbs I picked up at your house before I left, Getafix… What were they?” ”Oh, they’re a plant thet comes from far-off barbarian lands...” ”And what’s it called?” ”Tea.” Fiktiivisissä maailmoissa on toki vaikka millä mitalla taikajuomia, mutta se yksi ylitse muiden on tietäjä Akvavitiksin yli-inhimilliset voimat antava taikajuoma. Sillä pidetään koko Rooman armeija kaukana. Toki taikajuomalla on vaaransakin – jos sitä juo koko padallisen, muuttuu kiveksi… There are of course numerous magic potions in fictional worlds but the one above others is made by druid Getafix. This magic potion gives super-human strength and is enough to keep the Roman army away. Of course the magic potion is dangerous if used incorrectly – drink the whole cauldron, and you’ll turn into stone… The quote above by Asterix and Getafix in Asterix in Britain after giving the Brits fake magic potion after losing the real stuff Asterix created by René Goscinny and Albert Uderzo

VARUSTEVYÖ – UTILITY BELT (Batman) ”The true crimefighter always carries everything he needs in his utility belt, Robin.” Batmanin varustevyössä on kaikkea, mitä (super)sankari tarvitsee: bumerangi, köyttä, ensiapuvälineitä, tainnutuskaasua, tainnutuskaasun vasta-ainetta… mitä ikinä juoni vaatiikaan sankarillamme olevan. Itse luotan enemmän taskuihin, mutta varustevyö on kyllä mitä mainioin keksintö. Batman’s utility belt contains everything a (super) hero might need: a boomerang, some rope, first aid kit, knock-out gas, antidote to knock-out gas… whatever the plot requires of our hero. I trust in pockets more myself but utility belt is a great invention nevertheless. The quote above by Batman in the episode The Duo Defy in the 1960’s Batman tv show. Batman by DC Comics

VALEHTELIJAGLADIAATTORI – CONGLADIATOR (Kapteeni Sinikarhun 13 ½ elämää – The 13 ½ Lives of Captain Bluebear ) ”They combine the talents of a conman, comedian, stage actor, samurai, heavyweight boxer, chess grandmaster, and – of course – Roman gladiator.” Valehtelijagladiaattorit ovat Atlantiksen suosituimpia taiteilijoita. He esiintyvät valtavalla areenalla, jolla he kertovat tarinoita. Mitä parempi tarina ja mitä suuremmat suosionosoitukset, sitä enemmän pisteitä valehtelijagladiaattori saa. Kaksintaistelut valehtelijagladiaattreiden välillä ovat erityisen suosittuja. Jos asuisin Atlantiksessa, viettäisin varmasti paljon aikaa seuraten näitä gladiaattorimatseja! Congladiators are the most popular performers in Atlantis. They perform in a huge arena where they tell stories. The better the story and the louder the applause, the more points the congladiator gets. Congladiator duels are especially popular. If I lived in Atlantis, I’d surely spend a lot of time following these gladiator games! The quote above by Professor Abdullah Nightingale’s Ensyclopedia in The 13 ½ Lives of Captain Bluebear The 13 ½ Lives of Captain Bluebear by Walter Moers

NOITURI – WITCHER (Noituri - The Witcher ) ”Toss a coin to your Witcher…” Noiturit ovat ammattimaisia hirviönmetsästäjiä. Noituriksi päästäkseen on selviydyttävä noiturikoulusta hengissä, mikä ei ole mikään helppo juttu. Jos selviää noiturikoulusta ja kasata päällekarkaavia örmöjä sekä moraalisista ongelmista, kun ei tiedä, kuka se jutun pahis onkaan, ei silti lyö rahoiksi, eikä kukaan oikeastaan tykkää noitureista. Eli noituri on vähän niin kuin kaikki pöytäroolipelihahmot, paitsi että seikkailun lopussa ei olekaan rikas. Witchers are professional monster hunters. To become a Witcher you must survive the Witcher school, and getting through it alive is no easy task. If you survive the school and a bunch of monsters attacking you and all the moral problems of not knowing who the bad guy actually is, you’ll still not be rich and nobody actually likes Witchers. So a Witcher is a bit like all table-top role playing game characters expect that you’re not rich by the end of an adventure. The quote above from a song in the Witcher tv series The Witcher by Andrzej Sapkowski

X-GEENI – X-GENE (Ryhmä-X – The X-men ) ”Are mutants the next link in the evolutionary chain or simply a new species of humanity fighting for their share of the world?” X-geeni on se geeni, joka aiheuttaa sen mutaation, jonka ansiosta sinusta tulee periaatteessa supersankari (tai halutessasi superpahis). Biologina olen vähän sitä mieltä, etteivät mutaatiot toimi ihan näin, ja että suurin osa mutaatioista on aika pieniä ja lisäksi haitallisia, mutta olkoon, kun tarina on muuten hyvä. Sitä paitsi kirjainhaasteissa voi X:n kohdalla aina luottaa Ryhmä-X:ään, joten en ala valittaa. X-gene is the gene that causes mutations that basically turn you into a superhero (or super villain, if you prefer). As a biologist, I’d say that mutations don’t really work this way and that most mutations are small and also harmful, but since the story is good, I don’t care. Also I choose not to complain because in the alphabet challenges I can always count to X-men when I get to the letter X. The quote above by Professor X in the movie X2 X-men created by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby