Days.

RAINY SUNDAY. I wake up feeling oddly sad. "Everything is all right... Everything is  all right." // I miss-calculate. "What a huge mistake to listen to some sonic youth." // "I rather listen to the rain. - ...Can't even read this magazine." // "I should be living in those pictures in the magazine. - By the sea. - But instead I'm stuck here. - Forever." "I remember to buy toilet paper! - Congratulations to me!" // "Now I need a massive pile of comfort-food. - ...I miss the kid too." // Pampering my self does help. "I guess this is comfortable too." // "When I close my eyes, I can pretend to be somewhere else. - This rain could be anywhre." // "...But still. What if I notice that any of the hard work I've been doing, hasn't paid off at the end.." "...And I will never get home?"   - The end! (Tomorrow I'm -maybe- more hopeful.) --- ORDINARY THURSDAY. I cutted my self bangs morning.  "...My temple is so ...bare." // "Okaythen..." //I gave a phone-interview. // "Lunch." // "Something healthy. - I'm still suffering from sugar-hungover from yesterday." Me yesterday: "I fucking hate this shit that these stores only have tiny sizes! I don't wan't any 'Great Girls' pants with some fucking boot cut and 'pity-diamonds' they put in fat girls jeans, like the pants used to belonged to Missy Elliot!" // "I will buy my pants from somewhere where it's not made humiliating!" // "...The problem WAS the jeans, NOT my ass... - But I still better cut down sugar. I only get sick and cranky from it. - I made a mistake when I thought eating candy would pick me up." // ''One publisher sent these books for our book club, and I'm gonna mark every section I find offensive as  a woman." // ''21 notes on the first 20 pages. ...I may not wanna finsh reading this.'' I come to bar&cafe Paahtimo to draw and read the magazines. // ''Here I'm drawing this picture.'' // ''Horoscope: single leos should now seek permanent happiness from a relationship.'' // ''Uh. Shut up universe.'' // '' ...I shall look in to this relationship-thingie at the same time when I shall quit smoking...'' // ''..Which is 'When I want to.' - ...The guy at the corner table was quite handsome tough.'' --- MY NOTES FROM SIX HOURS OF TAX-LECTURE.